Feb. 6th, 2010

snowkill7: (Logo)
About twice a year I go though my live journal all the way back to my first post and read everything. Tonight for the first time I went all the way back though my Facebook wall. It was kinda fun and a little scary. My first thought is how technology is changing, a headline I saw this week from the BBC: For american teens blogging is longwinded and so 2009. I am no longer a teenager but is personnal blogging dieing out? Its seems that most blogs these days are Political. That aside I still think Livejournal is still a better medium for my to look into my past, if only because I wrote my first blog post in 20043 here.
While Livejournal shows a better record of what I was thinking. Facebook shows more of my personnel life and interactions with people. Proving that hindsight is 20/20. Its amazing how much I missed. I wonder how different my life would be if I responded to more stuff on my wall. Oh well. I could piss and moan about the past but the more productive thing would be taking the lessons and moving on.
I am a little concerned about how much looking into my past I have done in the past few months. I recently reread several books that I consider important to me. Maybe it's that I am beginning to realize that I am at a fork in my life. Maybe it's that I am unhappy. Maybe it's that I might walk away from something that has been in my life for a while. Maybe its that I have been pouring my drinks as I type this.
What ever it is I need to remember that I am the most happy when I put myself first and jump into things head first. also when I don't think about things. I guess jumping into things head first involves not thinking. What if these methods for happiness cause me only short term happiness? At the same time I have been awfully bad at gaining personal happiness in my relationships with other people. Maybe I am a loner. Maybe I just need to keep trying more so I get better at it.

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