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Sometimes I think about what makes me happy. There is quite a many things that makes me happy given my normally sour dispensation. Most of those things are big, large things snowboarding, designing a show for example. Today I had a moment of that quiet happiness that I need to get better at cultivating in myself.

When I woke up the plan for today was to work in the morning and then head up to galena for some cross county skiing. I ended up getting sucked into several things at work which combined with unforecasted clouds caused me to bag of on the skiing. I instead took off for home at 3pm and spent the afternoon listing to an Irish music podcast and reading online fiction. After a few hours of this I looked up and took in the late afternoon spring sunlight and was purely and quietly happy.

I need to remember and make it a priority to take pleasure in the small things that make me happy such as the first sunny day after a long winter. While no one could argue about my love of winter, there is something to be said about the first warm day after a long cold winter. Just as there is something to also be said for first autumn chill.
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I feel like 2013 was for me the type of year a person needs. I traveled, worked and studied. More importantly I learned that I need all of those in my life. I started a business and got promoted at my day job. I traveled to my first industry conference. I took a crazy plunge and went back to school. I watched a forest fire get way to close to my current home. I traveled to places I love and more importantly got to share one of them with friends. I traveled to two new places, liked one and didn't care for the other. I read a few good books, saw a good play or two and visited some museums. A year to be cherished for sure.

At the same time I am slowly starting to realize that I need more then I have. While my life is slowly coming together I am increasing becoming aware that I need a someone in my life for both mundane and grand reasons. I need someone to travel though dense forests and snowy plains with. I need a person to get lost with in cities both far and near and enjoy an afternoon of coffee and books. At the same time I need someone that I can help with household chores and make a home with. I worry that I might be getting accustomed to being alone. I worry that I might be setting a course for loneliness from which there is no exit or that I might just go to one to many movies alone and never see a reason to break the habit.

While that last paragraph might sound sad, depressing, or whiny. I will admit that when I look back up the page to the first paragraph I see hope and a cheerful reminder to not give up. I am an amazing person and I should not dwell on those feelings. I think it might be more productive to use them as motivation to keep doing what I am doing; while at the same time open myself up to the future and what it might hold. I need to take a chance and go for something wild and crazy.

Looking forward to 2014 I see an excellent chance to finish school and work hard to continue being awesome at my day job. I hope to grow my business a little as well. I plan to continue reading good books, seeing good theatre, visiting museums. After all why should I stop doing those things More importantly I pray that I continue turning up in random places and unlikely events. I aim to continue my love of biking. I also want to take a few steps towards getting someone in my life. I need to stop fearing mishaps and awkward situations. After all I am have been on this planet for 25 years and I have managed to make it this far. I don't think there is much that can stop me now.
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It's seems to fitting in my first post on this new site to consider how life has changed and yet remains the same. I am going into my 3rd summer in Idaho. My first without John M. involved and my second without most of the original people that I worked with up here. That has all changed but the permanence is in some why's more surprising and revealing. Jay has become a great force in my life and Dan is someone who continually shakes my world; mostly for the best.
I want to say more about all this but it is time for bed. Hopefully more tomorrow.

Age Bubble

Dec. 6th, 2012 12:02 am
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Trying to get back in the habit of updating this.

It's been a long week in a new way for me. The moments seem to take forever but I am slightly shocked that it is already Thursday. Work's been fine for the most part. Having difficulties on some costume racks I am working on adding shoe boards to. First someone borrowed the tools that I needed for a week which delayed the start. then I forgot some things in my plans. So the world turns.

A few weeks ago at the employee bowling night I met a girl from the resorts bakeshop. I got her number. We texted a bit but nothing came of it. Today I ran into her at lunch and we talked for a bit. I was invited to go ice skating with her and some friends. Turns out she has a boyfriend. But truthfully that wasn't the real disappointment of the night. The real disappointment was that she has co-workers from her department that were close in age, that would go out together.

That is completely different then what I have in my life right now. My department is older, I am the only full time person not married. Everyone else in the department is in their 40's and 50's. Not to say that I don't enjoy the people I work with. Jay and I had a wonderful day bullshitting while working at the nexstage last week. I have a great time hanging out with my accounting and IT friends. I just miss the camaraderie of hanging with people after a show or gig.

It's the same with church I exist in an age bubble. I have been blessed with a great congregation that I like worshiping with. Though I am a little unsure of some changes that have been happening. Finally getting a pastor is nice, him saying he believes we are in the end times is a little unsettling for me. I'll set that aside for the moment. the bigger concern is his thoughts that a church as a gathering place is an outdated model. I like the church as a gathering place, while the new pastor was talking about going out and actively converting people. I feel no call to try and convert friends and family.

I feel deeply that finding one's own path to God is key. I wouldn't be attending church as regularly as I do if me parents had forced me to church when I stopping going after confirmation. The years not going allowed me to realize what I was missing. I like going to church on Sundays, I don't think a bigger commitment is possible or the right thing for me.
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In January I did one thing that I had never done before and had one thing happen to me that has not happened to me before. I think they are important to note because they show a commitment to opening myself up to new experiences and get back some of the parts of myself that I had lost over the past couple of years. After all I always used to consider one of the cool things of being me was how I end up in weird or cool situations. Over the past two year those had dried up. This lack played a role in me leaving Utah.

The new thing that I did in January was enter a snowboard race: The first annual Baldy Banked Slalom. I took three practice runs on the day before the race. Non of my practice runs were great. On the morning of the race I was planning to get out of bed at 6:30am to get ready. I needed up getting going at 8am and barely making it to the mountain for the registration. I took one practice run that made my runs from the day before look of Olympic quality. I missed gates, crashed and flew out of control over one of the turns(turn 3). A returned to the top of course and attended the riders meeting Now it was time to wait. I watched the youth and woman's divisions go. I had been standing at the top of the course for hours watching and getting ever colder.
Finally the men's division I had two runs to make my mark. No wait its course repairs first. At last it was time to go. My first run I had a little crash but made it down with out missing a gate or breaking any bones. So what if my first run wasn't great and my second was similar. At least I challenged myself. So I ended up coming in last. Next Year if I race I have a time to beat. Here's a video of the event if people want to see the course: http://vimeo.com/35516760

The new thing that happened to me was a little bit of a shock. I have been going to church every Sunday since early December. Being raised Lutheran and wanting to continue in that tradition didn't not leave many choices around Sun Valley I can ether go to a Lutheran Church Missouri Synod(LCMS) Church in Hailey which is 12 miles away or travel about 60 miles to Shoshone to go to an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America(ELCA) Church. I was raised, baptized, and confirmed in the ELCA; another concern is that the LCMS is more closed minded then the Lutheran church I know. After research on the web and some thought I went with the church in Hailey.
One thing that I kept in mind was that I believe in certain things that I would leave a church if pressed on. Those being: Gay Rights, Trans Rights, and Womens Rights.
This turned out to be a non-issue as I found a old but welcoming congregation under the tutelage of Pastor Steve. The first day at the start of the service his daughter came running in the chapel screaming. While I am attending in an age gap with no one within tens younger and 25ish years older then me. I feel welcome and have little trouble getting going on Sunday mornings for the 30 minute drive to Hailey. Which is a miracle if you know me. I am sure my new habit of stopping at the wicked spud on the way home helps.
This brings me to this past Sunday when at the end of the service Pastor Steve got up and announced that he was resigning because he felt that he had been undermined and called into question one to many times. This was a minor shock for me. The more harrowing thing was watching the man in the pew in front of me start shaking with tears. After making his announcement Pastor picked up his young daughter and walked out.
snowkill7: (Default)
In January I did one thing that I had never done before and had one thing happen to me that has not happened to me before. I think they are important to note because they show a commitment to opening myself up to new experiences and get back some of the parts of myself that I had lost over the past couple of years. After all I always used to consider one of the cool things of being me was how I end up in weird or cool situations. Over the past two year those had dried up. This lack played a role in me leaving Utah.

The new thing that I did in January was enter a snowboard race: The first annual Baldy Banked Slalom. I took three practice runs on the day before the race. Non of my practice runs were great. On the morning of the race I was planning to get out of bed at 6:30am to get ready. I needed up getting going at 8am and barely making it to the mountain for the registration. I took one practice run that made my runs from the day before look of Olympic quality. I missed gates, crashed and flew out of control over one of the turns(turn 3). A returned to the top of course and attended the riders meeting Now it was time to wait. I watched the youth and woman's divisions go. I had been standing at the top of the course for hours watching and getting ever colder.
Finally the men's division I had two runs to make my mark. No wait its course repairs first. At last it was time to go. My first run I had a little crash but made it down with out missing a gate or breaking any bones. So what if my first run wasn't great and my second was similar. At least I challenged myself. So I ended up coming in last. Next Year if I race I have a time to beat. Here's a video of the event if people want to see the course: http://vimeo.com/35516760

The new thing that happened to me was a little bit of a shock. I have been going to church every Sunday since early December. Being raised Lutheran and wanting to continue in that tradition didn't not leave many choices around Sun Valley I can ether go to a Lutheran Church Missouri Synod(LCMS) Church in Hailey which is 12 miles away or travel about 60 miles to Shoshone to go to an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America(ELCA) Church. I was raised, baptized, and confirmed in the ELCA; another concern is that the LCMS is more closed minded then the Lutheran church I know. After research on the web and some thought I went with the church in Hailey.
One thing that I kept in mind was that I believe in certain things that I would leave a church if pressed on. Those being: Gay Rights, Trans Rights, and Womens Rights.
This turned out to be a non-issue as I found a old but welcoming congregation under the tutelage of Pastor Steve. The first day at the start of the service his daughter came running in the chapel screaming. While I am attending in an age gap with no one within tens younger and 25ish years older then me. I feel welcome and have little trouble getting going on Sunday mornings for the 30 minute drive to Hailey. Which is a miracle if you know me. I am sure my new habit of stopping at the wicked spud on the way home helps.
This brings me to this past Sunday when at the end of the service Pastor Steve got up and announced that he was resigning because he felt that he had been undermined and called into question one to many times. This was a minor shock for me. The more harrowing thing was watching the man in the pew in front of me start shaking with tears. After making his announcement Pastor picked up his young daughter and walked out.
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13
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I have to say after spending the last two weekends running down to Salt Lake spending a weekend(a four day weekend at that) at my new home has been a challenge so far. It doesn't help that November 5th is Mackens birthday which always makes me sad for several reasons. Macken passed away a few years ago. She was the second theatre person I had worked with to pass. I don't know if I have talked about her before but Macken was the set designer on the first show I designed at the U. She guided me though the show not so much my words or actions but a knowing look that she would shoot at me while I was working on the show. It seemed to say your not hear as a fluke you know how to so this get it down. Thanks Macken for guiding me on that show.
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While working to much is one of the reason that I left Park City; I am finding the opposite just as frustrating. I haven't worked since Wednesday fours days off in slack is a little rough. I have been a little busy even on my days off. Ran to Twin Falls on Friday to get my moms trailer ready for the jazz festival in a week and a half. on Saturday I went into town and watched the Utah football game at the closest thing to an Irish pub there is up here. It's a little place called the cellar pub that does an okay job pouring Guinness. Today I went into town for dinner. I tried a new place called China Panda, don't think I am destined to be a regular there. Good egg rolls but everything else was not so tasty.
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It is once again time for bullet points. Think of them like zen poems on leafs that float away washing up on the shore of your computer monitor. (Your Mileage May Vary on this metaphor it works better if your desktop is set to a beach image).

In Sun Valley people call me Samuel instead of Sam. Its been a weird change. It was not my choice at first but I kinda/sort of wish it was. I like Samuel better.

I feel blessed or at least amazingly better about life when I walk outside in the afternoon. The weather is just gorgeous. The sun light is pure without heat it has a clean feeling to it.

I am now working less because it is Slack up here. I am down to 32 hours a week until december. I keep thinking about going back to Salt Lake for a weekend. I have even thought about emailing the RSL fan in Boise to hitch a ride down for a game. That said, I feel anxious whenever I consider heading down there. I haven't been in Utah since mid-june.

Ran/designed my first show in Sun Valley in the historic Opera House last Sunday.
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I posted the follow message to a theatre group here on lj in hopes of getting some help with these issues and thought it wise to cross post it here. The only reason I am even getting this things is for the big freelance gig I have in Las Vegas during June. I am will explain that and more in an upcoming post about what I have been up to for the past few months.

"I have two questions about business cards. The first one is what info to include? I was thinking Name, Design specialties, Phone Number, Email, and Website. Is there anything else? I was thinking Skype but my username is unprofessional or my base city.

My second question is that I am planning to put a photo the back of the card from one of my designs. How to identify it? I was thinking name of show theatre and location. Do I need to contact the actors/other designers to get there permission?

Thanks for your time in reading this post."

Biz Cards

May. 21st, 2011 12:13 am
snowkill7: (Default)
I posted the follow message to a theatre group here on lj in hopes of getting some help with these issues and thought it wise to cross post it here. The only reason I am even getting this things is for the big freelance gig I have in Las Vegas during June. I am will explain that and more in an upcoming post about what I have been up to for the past few months.

"I have two questions about business cards. The first one is what info to include? I was thinking Name, Design specialties, Phone Number, Email, and Website. Is there anything else? I was thinking Skype but my username is unprofessional or my base city.

My second question is that I am planning to put a photo the back of the card from one of my designs. How to identify it? I was thinking name of show theatre and location. Do I need to contact the actors/other designers to get there permission?

Thanks for your time in reading this post."
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Christmas has come and gone here in the mountains. I have finished my work marathon. Working every day in the month of December seriously sucks. When I heard that I was working Christmas evening I thought it would be no big deal. Wrong-O!

From the work marathon I heading off to the commonwealth of Virgina for a visit to my brother and his family. It was great to get out there for the the first time since 2008. We went to a Washington Capitals game. My brother was awesome enough to get us great seats. On Thursday I watched the House of Representatives read the constitution. In order to avoid babbling on, the whole week was an excise in good food and good times.

Other then that not much is going on other then starting some online classes on Monday.
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Since I have reached the of the Internet during this show I am running fly lines for, I thought it might be fine for a long overdue update. As an aside I wonder when I had an update that wasn't I am typing this on my iPod so its going to be a little choppy

Working been increasingly bothersome. I have been swinging from wanting to quit and to thinking that I can make the place better for the long run. I don't know how long I can last so I an trying to make my projects at the theatre long term fixes and create paperwork for the future.

It's just hard. I had more here but it's just hard says it more succinctly. I just don't know how to more forward


In more positive news I had the honor and pleasure of serving as my best friends daves best man at his wedding last week. It was great to see Dave so happy. The wedding was a little short and no one really danced. Also on the day before there was a golf outing where both me and day had wonderful rounds figures that on september 30th I would feel great about my golf game.

The whole Lds conference speech makes me sad. On one hand I support freedom of speech even when I disagree with what is said. I strongly believe that open discourse and being opposed to things ones disagrees with is good thing. That said one I find it hard to believe a religious leader could say such hateful things.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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When doing some research for a show I came across a photo that made me stop and look at it for a minute. It wasn't anything close to what I needed, but I stopped and looked at it for a moment. That is slowly dawned on me that the reason the photo jumped out to me was how out of place it was. It showed a woman in front a tree, not that shocking I know. It was shocking in that it was composed very much like a painting romantic area painting, mostly in the way that nature and the woman was so close and intertwined. That style is not something I have seen in a photo. Usually when I see photos of nature and people interacting it is most often featuring a person in some sort of sporting clothes overcoming nature. It was a shock to see some one in semi formal clothing so at ease with nature. Another thought that I had was: why does the way people compose images change over time?

I have to say that this ramble is just more evidence for my growing idea that art is at its best something that surprises and adds wonder to the world.

On the work front I am in a great place with my design of the musical Hair at the Egyptian. I have cues in the board and most of the paperwork up to date and tech doesn't start until Saturday. I also need to work less since I ended up with to many hours this pay period and have to roll some over to the next one. While this is a problem I am extremely happy to be employed in something I love in these times on Economic troubles.

Catch up

May. 18th, 2010 10:03 pm
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Just a quick update. Working as close to full time as possible around my two summer classes. Trying to drive to work less but having to drive to Salt Lake four days a week makes that hard. More to come later.
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Tonight I had the pleasure of attend my first production meeting with Dark Horse Theatre Company. I am working as the master electrician on their upcoming production of Reefer Madness. The meeting was held at the village inn on 4th south. One thing that caught my attention was how friendly it was. Instead of people sitting around being overly concerned about the show and getting stuff done, the first and foremost thing was that it was friends gathering to create art. I have a feeling the show well go all the better because of it.

This got me thinking about how I want to create theatre going forward. Over the past few weeks in my spare time(mainly driving between PC and SLC) I have been throwing around ideas for my own theatre company. These thoughts have been spurred by several sources: Articles on social justice in High Country News, The failure of the Egpytain's production of Lover Letters, The Olympics, among other things. Plus I have always wanted to do a production of On Our Way to Lisbon.

I want to create theatre that targets audiences that never enter a theatre. I want to create theatre that makes the community better and more inclusive while not being overly concerned about that. I want to create theatre that challenges social norms. Well I get to do this anytime soon? Mostly likely not soon. But it is a nice thought.

Just some things I have been thinking about.
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About twice a year I go though my live journal all the way back to my first post and read everything. Tonight for the first time I went all the way back though my Facebook wall. It was kinda fun and a little scary. My first thought is how technology is changing, a headline I saw this week from the BBC: For american teens blogging is longwinded and so 2009. I am no longer a teenager but is personnal blogging dieing out? Its seems that most blogs these days are Political. That aside I still think Livejournal is still a better medium for my to look into my past, if only because I wrote my first blog post in 20043 here.
While Livejournal shows a better record of what I was thinking. Facebook shows more of my personnel life and interactions with people. Proving that hindsight is 20/20. Its amazing how much I missed. I wonder how different my life would be if I responded to more stuff on my wall. Oh well. I could piss and moan about the past but the more productive thing would be taking the lessons and moving on.
I am a little concerned about how much looking into my past I have done in the past few months. I recently reread several books that I consider important to me. Maybe it's that I am beginning to realize that I am at a fork in my life. Maybe it's that I am unhappy. Maybe it's that I might walk away from something that has been in my life for a while. Maybe its that I have been pouring my drinks as I type this.
What ever it is I need to remember that I am the most happy when I put myself first and jump into things head first. also when I don't think about things. I guess jumping into things head first involves not thinking. What if these methods for happiness cause me only short term happiness? At the same time I have been awfully bad at gaining personal happiness in my relationships with other people. Maybe I am a loner. Maybe I just need to keep trying more so I get better at it.
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Its been a while since I updated this for various reasons. Mostly that reason has been that I am not sure about how to write about the things I want to comment and/or reflect on. That and most of the times I think I should Livejournal this I am away from my computer. so here is a quick update on the going ons of my life:

School: Last semester was the hardest one of my collage career. I ran out of steam the last week of November. The thing that brothers me is that I don't feel to bad about it. The only thing that really brothers me is that I left a paper on a topic that excited me unfinished and in shambles. I can even almost rationalize it by saying I'll finish later in life.

Theatre: I am once again mostly working at the Egyptian. The new person running the theatre seems really excited to have me in the building and working. The downside is that he wants me there for every event. I am also working at the Grand on a once a month basis. I have been asked to design a second show for Meat and Potato.

Personnal Life: I have been working at being more open and out going. returns have been limited. In other news I have been watching more and more episodic television and today I finished rereading American Gods.

Soccer: RSL won MLS CUP which was cool. I am considering my level of involvement in the RCB next year. I would like to do a ton of cool displays but I wonder how much they well be wanted.

RSL blog

Sep. 13th, 2009 09:11 pm
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I now have an blog devoted to RSL stuff check it out at http://rslrambles.blogspot.com/

that is all
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